“You’re in the arms of the angel, May you find some comfort there” ~Sarah Mclachlan

I remember shopping for my prom dress. The stores we went into & how my aunt couldn't believe my mom would spend so much on one dress.

Another year passes. Sometimes it feels like yesterday and others, like today, it seems like lifetime ago. Sometimes I wonder if I would be a different person if she was still alive today. Would I react to things differently? Would I be where I am? It’s not just me I wonder about, it’s everyone she was close to.

• I know she would be proud of my dad for being able to do something he is passionate about
• I know she would be happy for Janis at finding happiness with Tony
• I know she would be venting and talking to June about life and would still enjoy the girls week in Myrtle Beach
• I wonder if my relationship with my grams would be different with my mom acting as a guard against my feelings being hurt by her
• I wonder if my aunt millie would feel less sadness in her life

Every year I post this poem because it really does capture the emotions of
losing someone so close to you.

Mother, I Don’t Mind The Pain
by Saundra L. Washington

When you died my dearest, blessed mother,
I had no sights or thoughts for tomorrow.
My soul experienced a wrenching eruption
Of pain and grief and excruciating sorrow.

The anguish of spirit: so unbearable;
The agony of mind: so intense,
The suffering in body: so unceasing,
Against all: I had no defense.

Nevertheless, beloved, I need you to know,
And I pray you can hear what I say.
I don’t mind the pain I’m going through.
It’s a small price, for our love, to pay.

We knew that one day we would have to part;
That death would come by in due time.
We knew how hard it would be for the other,
Who had to courageously linger behind.

But we knew our bond was worth the cost,
And valued each moment together we shared.
Now that I must without you go on,
The pain of my loss I will not be spared.

I wouldn’t, if I could, give my pain away.
It’s special and mine all alone.
It affirms all the love that I felt for you,
And in me, it can only be known.

So mother, though the pain of grief I endure
Will gradually and slowly subside.
The strength of the love that you and I share,
In the core of my heart will forever abide.